Christina Aguilera has a birthday party

Christina Aguilera went with A Clockwork Orange theme for 28th birthday at Osterria Mozza last night, and remind me to thank her for letting Jordan Bratman play dress-up, too. I was just thinking to myself the other day "It's been way too long since my retinas burned with an intense white-hot hellfire."

On that note, Katie Holmes' birthday was also yesterday, but she didn't have cool guests like Paris Hilton with douchebag date and Nicole Richie. Instead, Tom Cruise brought a cake onstage during the curtain call of her Broadway show. If that's not boring enough for you, she also turned 30 and might as well be a man at this point. Which is probably the best marriage advice anyone's ever given her. So, hey, Happy Birthday!